Martha Stewart's Secret Disco Night life

Mr. Frens' Monthly Article

Last week’s buzz of Martha Stewart’s supposed disco picture was proven a hoax by her lawyers and her team, ”Stewart’s High Intelligence Technicians” or S.H.I.T as they like to be known which has also sparked up some controversy but that’s a whole other story. The picture which tried to bring Stewart's private disco life to the “limelight”, sort of speak, was manipulated professionally to make it seem as if she is boogieing down in her beach house accompanied by her “Disco” friends. What gave away the reality of that paparazzi style picture was the man standing in the background. Eddie Van Gomer, head of the S.H.I.T, explains in an interview “After days of intense examination of the picture in subject, we concluded that the person in the background is none other than the famous ‘Disco Stu’. In case you’re not familiar with him, ‘Disco Stu’ is the fictional character from the animated series ‘The Simpsons’. In other words, he’s a cartoon you idiots! Not real! Therefore this picture is a fake a fraud!”


After an intense investigation, on my part, I was capable of capturing some real snap shots of Stewart which I have revealed in this article. This second picture (on right) shows Stewart leaving the local Disco Dance hall carrying her stylish party night hand-made disco-ball handbag. An interview with a patron, Alejandro, of the Disco Hall Stewart attended that night shows in fact she is a disco freak. “Ummm… Well she calls herself Marthalious Disco, she’s here every night. Some men run away as she is known to freak dance for hours on end. I enjoy that myself. I’m one of the men that sticks around, you know. Like one of these nights, as we boogied down, she turned around bent over and…” I had to cut the interview short as it was getting too graphic for my taste.

The second picture I managed to capture shows Stewart leaving the premises with two companions, good night indeed. The owners of the Disco Hall refused to give any comments about Stewarts visits every night. In fact they asked me all the questions including my name and my address, which was very weird. With this I thank you, my readers, stay tuned for more next month as I will further investigate this story of the century that's been uncovered. As I sit here on my comfy couch, the thought of… Someone’s in my house! Aaaargh! dsdfsgbstgmrer fhjgfh yp

Publisher’s note:

The article was never finished and Alex Frens, the author, has never been seen after he published this article that night. The article has not been manipulated in any way in respect to Mr. Frens The pictures are now being thoroughly investigated by the S.H.I.T crew and Stewarts lawyers.

NJIT: Human head successfully transplanted onto dog's body

NJIT Students Successfully Transplant Human Head onto Canine Body.

December 15^th, 2011

When an undergraduate student at the NJIT school of Medicine was in danger of failing because of too many absences; he knew he had to take desperate measures in order to pass. With the risk of being expelled looming overhead, the aspiring surgeon, whose identity will remain anonymous, decided to transplant a human head onto a dog’s body.

What first began as a bet between two friends was soon to become a medical marvel. Thomas Fuentes, the man who volunteered for the surgery, is a close friend of the surgeon. Fuentes was morbidly obese and struggled to lose weight for years. After years of failed diets and thousands of dollars spent, Fuentes thought all hope was lost. Then he was approached by a failing college student.

Fuentes decided that he would be happy living in a healthy dog’s body. “A healthy life is a healthy life, regardless of what body you’re in.” said Fuentes. He put his trust in his colleague’s hands and agreed to the surgery.

The surgery was performed at NJIT as a thesis for the student’s Intro to Surgery course. The surgery lasted a grueling sixteen hours and was done with a team a two people. The student had his best friend John, an avid gamer, help him with the surgery. “I have pretty good hand-eye coordination and thought that it would come in handy for a surgery, you know?” said John. John was arrested shortly after the interview by local police for performing surgery without a license and for possession of stolen narcotics from the NJIT pharmaceutical department.

After a week of recovery, Thomas Fuentes woke up with a new body and a new life. “The dog’s body did not reject my head which is a miracle” said Thomas as he wagged his new tail. “I love my four legs and I can run so much faster now”. Since Thomas is no longer considered a human being, he had to be sent to an animal shelter where he was adopted by a family of five from Secaucus, NJ.

“We love him, he’s great with the girls and it’s nice to know what your dog is thinking sometimes.” said Robert, Thomas’s new owner. Thomas no longer has to work and is supported by a family of complete strangers. “It’s a great life, I’m just having a hard time adjusting to dog food though.” said Fuentes.

The student is accused of over fifteen felonies, some of which are being created in Washington because of new problems this kind of surgery creates. “What if this dog-human attacks someone? How do we prosecute him?” says Monika Stuggart a New Jersey prosecutor. The student has received an A for his class but is nowhere to be found.

“I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on him.” says Doctor Singh, his professor. Police believe he could have transplanted the dog’s head onto his own body to avoid detection by authorities. Developing story….

Final

Honda introduces its new supersonic adventure!

The all new supersonic vehicle has arrived, and it is by Honda. With supersonic exterior, interior enhancements, improved fuel efficiency and brilliant super hi-tech touches, the Hondasonic 2012 is ready for whatever comes next.
The Hondasonic can travel an estimated 200 miles in the city without a drop of gasoline and is more fun and versatile than the older models. Mileage estimated and used for comparison purposes only. Do not compare to models before 2010. The actual mileage will vary depending on how you drive and maintain your supersonic vehicle.

“This is a vehicle with no competition in the market, and we are more than proud of bringing it to the public” said Mr. Sakagami president of Honda Corp. in Tokyo Japan in his last interview with the New York Times at the NYC auto show 2011.

The idea of being similar to a Supersonic Jet in its look was a secret saved by Honda for more than five years, before its release in 2012. The first city that will have this impressive vehicle for sale will be Berlin Germany in the beginning of March 2012.

Car from the future

The front of the Hondasonic 2012 is strong and lean with eye-catching projector-beam headlights. The lower rear helps this 4-door supersonic vehicle slip easily through the air, and unique LED brake lights complete the look.

The Hondasonic was designed with a low center of gravity and a 5-passenger cabin. Five-door access helps meet the needs of an active lifestyle. New for 2012, the Hondasonic features a revised and more spacious fantastic interior. The use of smaller internal components allows for more cabin and cargo space, making the Hondasonic friendly and versatile. And the Hondasonic was designed and built from the ground up to be what it is: A supersonic car. Very fast, comfortable and attractive, but not economic. The first model was already sold to the superstar singer Madonna for $12 million and it is estimated to be reachable for at least $14 million by general wealthy customers around the world.

The new Hondasonic is not for everybody, but will be admired around the world.

So fast that you will feel it like flying.

Martha Stewart's secret passion for Disco Dancing