Aged Like Fine Time... 

BY G.N.G. 

Jersey City – Famed particle physicist Grace N. Giles, known as ‘Amazing Grace’ for her groundbreaking work with “the god particle”, has accidentally matured 50 years after a failed time travel experiment.

Giles, 35, a contributing scientist for CERN, a European particle physics laboratory, attempted the five-decade leap witnessed by notable students, journalists, and professors including English theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking in a closed auditorium at New Jersey City University yesterday at approximately 3:18 PM. 

Giles, 35 - before the Time Warp Experiment looking healthy. 

Reportedly, Giles aged 50 years minutes after stepping into a time machine for what turned out to be a failed experiment. Preliminary tests indicated that she is mentally sound, aware of the accident and able to communicate with medical officials although results may be irreversible. 

This was the first of three planned observation experiments although the other two have been postponed pending the outcome of today’s event. 

Giles transitioned rapidly during the experiment, but maintains all cognative functions for a woman her age. 

For the past 10 years Giles has diligently etched at perfecting the time machine and finally acquired the funding required to bring the concept to the final stages of development just last year. The device, which is reminiscent of the transporter on Star Trek, will be carefully dismantled aided by the instruction of Giles. 

Her skin has wrinkled but she still remains happy. 

Several theories have been brought forth on the rapid age progression that Grace Giles is experiencing including Stephen Hawking’s own which will be published on his website in the coming days.